None of us are perfect.
I was part of an interstate literary festival once just after I had a major operation on my arm. A day or so in, it was clear my sling needed a wash. It smelled. But I had to be on panels and run a workshop at this two day event, and I was nowhere near a laundromat. Plus, there was no time, or the expense, to let my hotel take care of it.
I was self conscious as I sat next to fellow writers on stage with my own odour drifting into my nostrils. In hindsight, I just should have bought another sling.
Recently, I’ve had to question the behaviour of others in our field.
And I think it’s important to share these stories, as well as my own, because professionalism matters. You will be remembered for how you acted or what you said, just as much as if you’re that smelly person at an event.
The first couple of examples can be filed as ‘Never think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.’
At a December writers catch up, we were all asked to buy a twenty dollar present for a Secret Santa lucky dip. All but one bought something, and I was the person who ended up with the book one of the female writers self published. So basically, she didn’t purchase anything. She just donated her own book.
The guy next to me ended up with a new pad and pen which he didn’t need, but he was keen to read the novel I ended up with. So we swapped.
I received death stares from that self-pubbed author for the rest of the afternoon, and when she left, she said goodbye to everyone but me.
I had a similar prima donna encounter from an audiobook narrator.
I reached out to voice actors to audition for an audiobook of one of my novels, which my publisher posted the listing for on a site which connects publishers/authors and narrators. I couldn’t access the listing myself as I didn’t post it. Only potential narrators could see these jobs. When I wrote to ones who appealed to me, I included the name of my novel and my publisher’s name so they could find it. Most had no trouble.
But one emailed me directly saying he couldn’t see it, and wrote ‘We have a problem’ and ‘You better send me the link’. I didn’t reply.
Another emailed me directly offering audiobook cover design, book trailers, Amazon A+ content, author’s website and book marketing. He never auditioned. Later, he messaged me though the publisher/narrator site asking why I hadn’t responded. It took days of back and forward messaging for me to realise who this person was as his business profile name, and the name he signed the email with, were in no way similar.
Now let’s get back to author etiquette.
When I first I met the writer who gifted her own book, she spent half an hour complaining how no traditional publishers signed her up. She compared herself to authors who sold well, and went on about how her work was as good as theirs.
I also encountered an author at a book fair who believed she should be traditionally published. She stood in front of my stall for fifteen minutes telling me how she’d done all the work and the illustrations, so all a publisher had to do was print and market it.
I was stuck there knowing she didn’t understand a publisher first considers if a work is marketable to their readership, and that they still have to edit any manuscript they offer a contract for.
I think my dumbfounded expression, which I was trying to hide, eventually sent her away.
We live in an age of narcissism.
A lot of it is fuelled by people creating their own reality, believing they are the real deal without putting in the work — or researching the industry. They’re looking for that pat on the back they’re used to when they’re on their socials. They have no concept real life doesn’t work like that.
And in the end, their behaviour broadcasts their shortfalls .
kevin klehr 