Thoughts I Had When I Was Drunk (Part 2)

There are two presents given to me by different people to help me with my writing. One is a beautifully bound notebook while the other is a dictaphone. But somehow its the dictaphone that comes out for pearls of wisdom when I’m far from sober.

This second collection of thoughts come from me and my friends, and are on the rejection list as far as being useful for my writing.

If you missed the first, click here.


  • For some people the Microwave was an appliance that was around since they were born. For others like me, they were invented while I was alive. So when we start not noticing an appliance that was invented in our time, it means it has won our heart just like a person. It’s an important and ‘can’t do without’ part of our lives. (Another example, the ATM)
  • Pick a country and imagine that country was a person. Would it be a top or a bottom?
  • Early Lupe Fiasco is like early Harry Connick Jnr – sublime. (I really question my thinking here)
  • I love that feeling when you’re drunk enough to start appreciating how soft your jeans have become.
  • How wide your balcony door is open is in direct response to how much you want to take in the mood of the day, whether rainy, overcast or sunny.
  • Children of divorced parents. Do they subconsciously take sides?
  • Do people who wear big glasses secretly identify with owls?
  • What was it about the 1990s that made it the decade of people having sun and moon bedspreads while lighting candles for atmosphere?
  • That amazing moment when you realise that Enya’s “May It Be” sounds exactly like “Fable” by Robert Miles.
  • ‘Ode to Kermit’ YouTube clip idea – A bunch of nerdy guys rejecting digital media (eg. Playing a reel to reel tape or watching an old cathode ray tube television) all singing “One day we’ll find it, the analogue connection.” (Good one to story board)
  • At some stage you’ve shared pornography with your closest friends (if they’re of the same bent).
  • A good comfortable lounge suite is the third person in your marriage.


  • Commercial music is designed to work with the medium you’re playing it through. So in the past we had more instruments to appreciate through the quality of vinyl, whereas now we can take it down a notch as we usually hear it in compressed mp3 form (and not necessarily through good wooden speakers).
  • The more you come to appreciate The Blues, relates to how much pain you’ve dealt with in your life. It’s grown-ups music.
  • Your ambitions become more personal as you get older. They’re no longer about career.
  • Each generation sees ‘pushing the envelope’ as progress.
  • Invite your gay friends over but don’t tell them about the box of wigs under the coffee table. Then see who breaks first.
  • When someone offers to throw you a birthday party, that’s real love!
  • Which album was the pinnacle of Madonna’s artistic achievements?
  • Ever notice how death metal singers sound like the cookie monster?
  • Everyone has their favourite chair.
  • Buying a new dining table means you appreciate your friends highly.
  • Are you a Charlie Chaplin person or a Buster Keaton person? And is that the same as asking are you a Bart or Lisa Simpson person?
  • There’s levels of yuck.

If you have any pearls of wisdom, share them below. I’d love to hear how weird our collective thoughts get.

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